Mommy pity party... for one

So do you ever have those days when you just feel down right sorry for yourself? You know it's pretty irrational and in the grand scheme of life it's not that big of a deal, but you just allow yourself to have that moment.

Well I had a pity party for myself on Monday this week. Miles and I had gone to visit a good friend and her family in Texas the week before (post coming about that) so that meant I had two plane rides (standby mind you) with a little one which always makes me on edge and is never relaxing. Miles and I happened to get sick while we were there and had to come home early. Went to the doctor and found out he had a double ear infection and a cold. I too was fighting a bad cold. Nick had to work most of last weekend which meant no real break for me from the sick little guy and all I wanted was a little rest to try and fight this cold. So by Monday I was on edge. Miles was cranky and ornery beyond belief. He'd ask for something, then once I gave it to him, he would throw a fit and look at me like I was an idiot for giving him this object and that he clearly didn't want it, so I took it back. Then he would throw another fit wanting it. To top that off he was in "distructo" mode and was going through the house taking everything out of the cabinets and my closet, etc.

Exhibit A:

Finally I just sat down and cried a little. I couldn't understand why I couldn't handle this. I thought of a lot of my friends that handle way more stressful situations; friends with kids who have no family around to help, my friend Shauna that has infant twins and a three year old, parents doing this on their own, having to juggle home and work life. If they could handle it, why couldn't I handle my one child? I also felt terrible that I was feeling so much anger towards my little, helpless baby. I called my mother-in-law in my moment of weakness and she said something that made me feel a little better, "just because it may seem like they are handling it, doesn't mean they are all the time". Ahhhhh. I know I'm not alone in feeling this way but I almost feel guilty feeling this way when I do consider myself very lucky.

So, I'm writing this as a reminder to myself and for others that it's ok to have these feelings.  We all do no matter what our situation is, right? :) If you are reading this and have had these moments, please write me a little note...it sure would help :)